A Bigger Picture. (Part 1)

At the start, He was there.
In the end, He’ll be there.

Let me try to explain to you what my view of God was. He was a big guy who ruled Heaven, which was somewhere up above me (and hell was somewhere below me). He loved me enough to die for me so I wouldn’t have to experience separation from him except for my own choice. He loved to give good gifts to his children and any time bad things happened it was a consequence of my own sin. Direct punishment for dropping the S bomb in front of girls. Or something like that. Anger was part of his character, but he loved bigger. He was strong and he was the man’s man.

Everything is changing. First of all, I believed God was “up” there in heaven which was somewhere on the other side of the stars. If I could just jump high enough I could maybe stick my head in the lower levels of heaven. It was a place with gold streets, gates made of diamonds and lakes perfect for water skiing. There would be huge banquets and a yard for football. It was a place attainable after passing from this life to the next. I don’t think I buy it. Might I suggest, heaven is in the here and now. All around. Hiding just behind the shadow of this world we currently live in. I almost feel I could take a knife and cut a hole in the cling wrap of the world and hiding just behind this layer would be a place where colors are more colorful and fruits are sweater and love is more perfect and everything is bigger and there is no sickness and no disease and no decay. I feel like it’s just out of reach. Right around the next corner. Or hiding in the folds of a new adventure. And the best part, trying to catch it is the greatest game of all. I imagine little kids chasing their daddy’s and just before they catch him he slips into the closet or behind a closed door. It’s a cosmic game of tag. You and I both know, sometimes dad used to let us catch him. And then, heaven explodes into earth. And for a moment, everything else gets the volume turned down and sickness is healed, brokeness restored, and joy overflows. It’s a just enough of a taste to keep us needing more. I’m not sure how theologically sound this is, but I kind of feel like heaven will look like this world. Except we will find heaven is real and this world is fake.

Seek first my Kingdom…

Everything is changing. This thing called love and the way I perceive it are drastically changing. It’s amazing to me how this beautiful gift can cause so much pain, heartache, and grief. Maybe, just maybe, the problem isn’t with love but with those through which love is communicated. There is a disconnect between the Giver of love and those who receive it. We live in a broken world and when sin entered, it started to decay. The innocence was lost and it began to break down. And it affected the way we love. We seem to have this idea of love being a powerful emotion which sweeps us off our feet and puts little butterflies in our stomachs. We get the warm fuzzies and when it happens, it can’t be ignored or stopped. Beautiful relationships are destroyed over the idea that love “just happens” or “it just feels right” or “I don’t understand it but I have to go with it.” Even I have believed these emotions, that is, until everything started to change. I have said and heard it said, “I am falling in love with you.” Two things here.
1. Falling implies an uncontrolled descent with an unpleasant pounding when the descent reaches its end.
2. I usually fall when I trip on something and the tripping is usually an accident.
So, maybe we should start saying, “I am accidently tripping and entering into an uncontrolled descent with a few bruises at the end with you.” Sadly enough, with our current views on love, this is what usually happens. And with this paradox is where my view of God began to change. The greatest love story ever told starts the night before the first nail pierced his skin. The scene unfolds and we have Jesus alone, praying in the garden. Jesus has a problem. There is this bride he longs for, needs, desires, yearns for, and calls to. As it stands in the moment, he is separated from his bride. He knows the only way to come into fellowship and intimacy with her is to face the most humiliating and painful death the world has ever seen. He is faced with two choices. Walk away or give up his life for his bride. My favorite part is next. The greatest pick up line in all of pick up lines.

“Father, It’s not about what I want, but what you want. Your will be done.”

And the love story begins. Jesus makes the choice to love his bride knowing severe discomfort was less then a few hours away. Now if love was a feeling, he would have walked away because no one wants to feel excruciating pain. I can assure you, when Jesus was on the cross, loving his bride did not “just feel right.” It didn’t just happen and I’ll be willing to bet he wasn’t swept off his feet. But because he made the choice in the garden, this world has never known a greater love story. (Oh, and in case you don’t know the ending, he gets the girl. Honestly, what bride would say, “no thanks” after what Jesus did for her? Exactly.) Love is not a feeling or an emotion; it’s a choice. Feelings and emotions come and go. Love was never intended to come and go but be the rock on which the house is built. It’s a choice. I think the next time I get the opportunity to love ‘that someone special’, I will look her in the eyes and I won’t say, “I’m falling in love with you,” but, “I choose to love you.” Knowing full well I am echoing the words of Jesus and in so doing carrying the promise to represent the rock on which the house is built and to go anywhere or do anything, even lay down my life, so the two of us can have fellowship with one another.

“Today, beloved, I choose to love you.”

You may be wondering what all this has to do with Thailand and this blog, which is just supposed to update you on the comings and going while we are here. I think, however, this trip to Thailand is a chapter of the journey I have been on the past few months and by reading, you have become a part of this journey and are following along as I discover a God bigger and better than I could have ever imagined. And since you are following, I want you to discover the things I am discovering. I feel like this particular blog is part 1 and there could be several more parts to, “A bigger picture.” I explored two areas in which things have been turned upside down and I can already think of several more. However, I wanted to get this up as soon as possible so you could begin to track these thoughts with me and maybe develop some of your own.

On a lighter note. Bobby and I have a new friend.

This little joker popped his head out on the wall right above where I was sitting and started yelping. If you have never heard a gecko yelp, it can be quite intimidating at first. But, he’s friendly.

Bobby went live with his website just a few hours ago. He’s got some cool pictures and more information on what we’re doing over here. You can check it out here.

Choose.

-junglejon

The View.

This is the main drive coming into the school. The Buildings on the right and left are the classrooms. The mountains in the background are just awesome.

-junglejon

A few things I’ve learned…

So, I have learned a few things since I’ve been here.

1. You will get called out if you use a fork.
2. The cooks notice what you don’t eat.
3. Everyone assumes you can sing.
4. Thai people will beat you at any sport with their heads and feet. Even golf.

Here are some pictures from today.

Keep smiling.

-junglejon

Each Day.

Bobby and I are settling in. It seems each day is better than the last. I’m not sure how this continues to keep happening, but the Lord is blessing us with the faces of beautiful who keep smiling and keep laughing. It’s amazing to me how these people have so much joy. It just seems each moment is better than the previous and as each passes, my joy grows right along with theirs. It’s true what they say. Joy is contagious. In a place like this I begin to wonder how I could have ever been selfish or self-righteous or prideful or boastful or stingy. In comparison to how we live, these kids have nothing, but yet they all seem so full of life. I have to ask myself where I lost this child like faith. No problems. No worries. Only love and each other. It’s truly one of the most beautiful things I have ever seen. I find myself taking a step back and examining my life and looking at the places I have been and the places I am coming from and when it’s all said and done, none of it compares to the love and joy I see all around me everyday at this school. I wish you could all drop what you’re doing and come spend a day here. Just a day, and you will learn what it means to smile. I’m smiling now. I would encourage you to smile at everyone you meet today. Be a blessing to those around you. Spread the joy the Lord has given you.

I am under the impression Jesus smiled a lot.

I love you all!

-junglejon

Jesus answered, “How can the guests of the bridegroom mourn while he is with them?”

And the Word became Flesh.

Have you ever had one of those moments where time seems to slow to a steady, constant drip and you just wish you could stand in this expanse of a single moment forever and ever and ever, etc? It’s one of those times where everything else becomes secondary or shadows or plain milk instead of chocolate milk. Your heart beats a little faster and the synapses used in forming words aren’t firing, but you don’t care because silly words would only take away from the beauty of it all. So, you just stand in awe. Silent. Humbled. And you realize, in one single breathe, this is why. This is why God says, “Go.” This is why God spoke life into existence. This is why he knit me together in the womb. This is why he made green green and the sun explode into brilliant colors right before it retires for the night. This is why people give up everything they own to follow a simple man named Jesus. And it all comes together and for one moment, the gap between heaven and earth is ripped open and we have heaven on earth. I’ve been in this place. It gives me the Holy Ghost Goosebumps. The H double G, if I may.

Before we came to Maelenoi, we heard there was a group of Christian students on the campus. When we got here, we had no idea how we were going to find these students since neither of us spoke Thai. So, we had planned on attending Church somewhere near the school with some fellow missionaries. But God decided to flex his muscles. Every night this week, Bobby and I had been visiting dorms to introduce ourselves and play games with the kids. We had been teaching them Hey Jude. Brilliant. Last night we weren’t sure if we were going to visit a dorm because no one invited us and we didn’t have school. Well, 8pm rolls around and we get a knock on the door and it’s the girls from dorm 3 asking us to come. So, we get there and they want to teach us to dance. And we made fools of ourselves for about an hour. We sang songs, played games, and danced like chickens. Wonderful. Then, as we are about to leave, one girl takes off up the stairs and comes back a few minutes later with her Bible. She sits it on the ground by our feet and in broken English she starts telling us of her love for Jesus. Then she says all the girls in her dorm love Jesus. Then she asks if we love Jesus. Yes. So, we prayed together, right there on the spot. They invited us to church for this morning.

Church was simple. We stood in a circle. They sang in Thai. We sang in English. Then they asked us to read the Bible in English. We did. They read the same passage in Thai. And we went back and forth for a while. In this way, God broke the language barrier and allowed us to communicate with our fellow sisters in Christ. You see, friends, the Word of God is living and active. It became flesh this morning. Us. Them. All serving the same God for the same reason.

It was amazing. I’m still baffled as to how they knew. God did it for sure. Maybe it was as simple as this.

The eye is the lamp of the body. If your eyes are good, your whole body will be full of light.

Maybe our eyes were shinning like those who had been with Jesus. Spirit recognizing Spirit.

We made friends today. I’m excited about the next few weeks. God surely is not finished.

-junglejon

“I just want to go the distance…”

First of all, name the movie quoted in the title. Think you know? Put it in the comments and let me know what you think.

Huntsman spider is a common name given to the family Sparassidae (formerly Heteropodidae). The larger specimens of these spiders are called Wood Spiders in most parts of Australia, due to their common preference for inhabiting woody places (forest, mine shafts, woodpiles). These eight-eyed spiders are found in Australia, New Zealand, South Africa, Southeast Asia, the Mediterranean, Florida, and Hawaii, and possibly in many other tropical and semi-tropical regions. They can be found as far north as England and Wales.

Wikipedia also informed me they “often travel in pairs.”

Round 2. Ding. Ding.

-junglejon

(If for some reason the video above doesn’t work, here is the direct link http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U6jOFEpTdSM )

The Beast.

Yes, that was living in my  bathroom. Yes, Bobby killed it.

The Rock.

Do not be like them, for your Father knows what you need before you ask him…So do not worry, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’ For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them. But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.

A few months ago, my ship sailed on a journey to discover what it honestly means to depend on the Lord. Last night, as I sat soaking in the words of Jesus, the little light bulb in my brain flickered to life. Here I am, on the other side of the world, in the middle of the Mae Hong Son Province in a town called Maesariang, surrounded by people who quite possible have never seen a white person before, and certainly can’t speak English, but the Lord is taking care of us. I read the verses above and the storm in my heart quieted. Kind of like when Jesus was in the boat and he came out and said, “Be still” and the waves listened. That’s what happened. So many times I find myself worrying about silly little things. What will be for dinner? Will I be able to teach tomorrow? Will I make it two more weeks? Will I sleep in this heat? And we pray for these things. But, the Lord knows what we need before we ask Him. He is taking care of dinner and class and sleep. The Lord has already been to the end and back and laying the path according to his great plan. The only thing required of me is trust. He asks me to seek him and his kingdom and he will make all things right. And, I must say, He has done all of these things for us. Food has been good. Sleep has been good. Class has been good. Everything is going well. The Lord is truly taking care of us and is providing just enough for each day. He is our sustenance as long as we trust him. He is the rock, if only we would build our house there. Unshakeable. Unchangeable. All Powerful. All Good.

The rain came down, the streams rose, and the winds blew and beat against that house; yet it did not fall, because it had its foundation on the rock.

The rain came. The river flooded. The hurricane blew through. But, here we are. Standing on the rock. Each day taking care of itself. Every second of every minute carefully planned by the God who created it all.

Will he not continue to give us our needs? Surely he will.

On a lighter note, Bobby has a new nickname. Bobby SpiderSlayer. Yes. He took on the greatest challenge thus far and flushed the beast out and killed it. It was a spectacle, let me tell you! Last night we visited one of the dorms again and they asked us to teach them a song. So, we taught them the first one we thought of…Hey Jude. Oh yes. We wrote the lyrics down for them and ten minutes later we had a whole choir of Hey Jude. Amazing. I think Bobby wants to try to get the whole school singing it at one time. A lofty and honorable goal.

Today was interesting, however. The English teacher wasn’t here so we taught all four of his classes. Long day. Needless to say, we passed out after lunch. The goal is for us to teach two classes a day.

The plan for the afternoon is volleyball. BADOW. They play with their feet over here. Unreal. This one girl has the sickest jump serve I have ever seen.

I ask that you pray the Lord would open our minds and let us absorb as much Thai as possible. It’s tough not speaking the language, especially when the goal is to build relationships.

On Christ the solid rock I stand, all other ground is sinking sand.

-junglejon

Maelenoi, Rice and Spiders.

Suwadeekap!

Well, Bobby and I made it safely to the Maelenoi school yesterday afternoon about four. They stopped the bus, handed us our suitcases and waved goodbye. Here we were, out in the middle of no where (literally), don’t speak a lick of Thai, and we have to find our way. It was awesome. By the grace of God we made it to the places we needed to be.

Let me tell you about my house. It’s the house of the director of the school, but he doesn’t stay here much. He commutes back and forth between the school and Maesariang. Ok, so, the bathroom. Don’t even know where to begin. Toilet which has to be manually flushed. Shower that hardly works, so the buckets next to the water tank are handy. And, it’s the about the size of most people’s pantry (I have, in fact, seen pantries bigger). But the best part is the Mutant Spider (We’ll call him MS) living in the toilet paper role. Oh man, this thing is huge. I think my heart quit beating for a few minutes when I saw it. I literally stood as far away as possible when I showered. Knees knocking. I think we are going to try and man up and do something about MS tonight. Alright, from the bathroom, you travel through the living room which has an old, red, leather couch and head up the stairs to our room. This room consists of two mats in the corner, a towel rod, and a fan. Fantastic. I actually slept great last night considering there was no AC. The Lord wouldn’t lead us out here and peace out, now would he? Oh no.

Today was the first day of teaching. In the least, Bobby and I were a litte shell shocked. We met the English teacher last night and he’s speaks a little bit of English. Well, we started at 8.30 this morning. We taught two back to back and then did another after lunch. The kids in the first class could speak pretty good English, but the kids in the 9.30 didn’t know hardly any so we had to change game plans in the middle. Awesome. I think we both walked out thinking, “What in the world are we doing here?” Ha. The class this afternoon went great. I think we just needed to get the kinks out and work on the nerves. It will only get better from here.

So far, meals have been good. Rice. Rice. Rice. There is also this fruit called Rambutan which is quickly becoming my favorite.

The plan for the afternoon is soccer. Woot Woot!

Hopefully, there will be pictures to come!

-junglejon

Stealing my Heart.

Chiang Mai. Golf.

BADOW.

I saw a God of creation today.

“But Nineveh has more than a hundred and twenty thousand people who cannot tell their right hand from their left, and many cattle as well. Should I not be concerned about that great city?”

I always wondered what God meant when he mentioned “and many cattle as well.” Now, I think I know. Our God is a God of creation. Grass. Mountains. Trees. Dogs. Bats. Elephants. Lakes. Rivers. Rocks. Sunsets.

All His. All being brought into reconciliation. Groaning as in the pains of child birth. All longing for the great finale when the music gets the loudest and the dancing the fastest and the Son rides in on a white stallion bringing his victory. What a Hope we have. May we yearn for this day.

-junglejon